Do you apologize frequently about many things? If so, what is prompting you to be compelled to say, ‘I am sorry,’ about many things?
Many people suffer with a need or compulsion to apologize for many things. On the one hand, apologizing is a social convention, that keeps interactions between people polite, and in that way it is helpful. On the other hand, if you apologize for everything, it is detrimental to your well-being and the other person(s).
Therefore, you need to look at what compels you to say, ‘I am sorry,’ about many things. Ultimately, saying you are ‘sorry’ is saying that you are responsible for something that is off track in the situation. Whether it is negotiating a parking spot, moving through the aisles of the supermarket, or reaching for what you want, there are times when ‘I am sorry,’ is the right thing to say. However, there are situations, that ‘excuse me,’ is more accurate.
Sometimes saying, ‘I am sorry,’ is implying the other person in the equation has more right to be, do or say something than you do. Of course, it is true that using the word, ‘sorry’ can simply be an innocuous way of defusing tension. However, if you notice that you say, ‘sorry,’ even though you have no part in what occurred, you need to look at what prompts you to do such a thing. It might be a habit, breaking it may simply take some awareness and practice.
The first step to root out the ‘I am sorry,’ habit is to observe your self-talk, without judging yourself. Throughout the day notice when you apologize. You might notice that you say, ‘I am sorry,’ more than you realized. After three or four days of observing, tune into what you feel before or immediately after you hear yourself say, ‘I am sorry.’ Do you feel threatened, embarrassed, anxious, fear, anger or a variety of feelings?
The second step is stopping yourself either before you speak or when you hear yourself say, ‘I am sorry,’ If you have said, ‘I am sorry’ – state, ‘I am not responsible for this, therefore, my apology is inappropriate.’ Allow yourself to know by stating you are not responsible for something, albeit you apologized, you have taken your power back.
Continue to observe your self-talk for thirty to forty-five days, in which time, you will notice you are saying, ‘I am sorry,’ less and less. During this time, you will connect the habit to a childhood experience, one that you had long forgotten. However, it is still in your unconscious mind that you needed to protect yourself by stating, ‘I am sorry.’
When your new behavior has become a habit you will be empowered and free to be; who you truly are – An empowered person.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician – Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one’s thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net